Like many jewellery trends, the Toi et Moi ring trend (which has now hit South Africa) is a new take on an old-style, made famous again by some in-the-spotlight celebrities. Back in 2018, Emily Ratajkowski set Instagram ablaze when she posted a photo of her Toi et Moi engagement ring, presented to her by long-time boyfriend Sebastian Bear-McClard. The jaw-dropping combination of a 3-carat pear cut and 2-carat princess cut diamond in yellow gold had jewellery designers eagerly reaching for their sketch pads.

 

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Adding fuel to the Toi et Moi fire at the beginning of 2022 was actress Megan Fox who said “Yes” to Machine Gun Kelly when he proposed with a spectacular pear-cut emerald and diamond combination.

 

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But what are Toi et Moi rings? What does the name mean? When and where did they originate? What should you look for when buying one? Read on, we’re about to answer all the questions you have about these trendy rings.

What is a Toi et Moi ring?

If you’re not a French speaker (I chose typing over French at school), Toi et Moi translates to “you and me” and, when it comes to jewellery designs, it refers to a ring that features two main gemstones (vs a more “traditional” solitaire or halo style engagement ring). The two gemstones are typically set on either side of a coiled band and represent the union of two people as a couple. The two gemstones can be the same size, shape and gem (like two diamonds), or they can be very different to each other (for example a diamond and a sapphire). It all depends on the look you want to create.

What is the history of Toi et Moi rings?

As the French name suggests, its history can be traced back to the days of the French Revolution when, in 1796, Napoleon Bonaparte proposed to Josephine de Beauharnais with a Toi et Moi ring. Set with two pear-cut gems, a white diamond and a blue sapphire, Empress Josephine’s ring was auctioned in 2013, where it fetched US$949,000 thanks mostly to its incredible provenance.

Napoleon Bonaparte Toi et Moi ring

The earliest record of a Toi et Moi ring design, this sapphire and diamond ring was given to Josephine by Napoleon in 1796. Image via The Jewellery Editor. 

Which famous people have worn Toi et Moi rings?

John F. Kennedy famously proposed to his future First Lady, Jackie Bouvier, in 1953 with a Van Cleef & Arpels Toi et Moi ring. Set with two emerald-cut gems, diamond and emerald, in a band with tapered baguettes, Jackie redesigned the ring approximately 10 years later by adding marquise and round diamonds to the band.

In the 21st century, Ariana Grande has also been seen sporting a Toi et Moi ring comprising an oval diamond and pearl. And, we can’t leave out Kylie Jenner and daughter Stormi, who have matching pear and radiant-cut diamond Toi et Moi rings, courtesy of Travis Scott.

Mum and daughter rings

Kylie Jenner and daughter Stormi’s matching diamond Toi et Moi rings. Image via Instagram @kyliejenner.

What should you look for before buying a Toi et Moi ring?

Many of our clients have heard us say this, and we’ll say it again. There are some spectacular ring designs on the internet right now, but many of them are radically impractical when it comes to the longevity of the ring and making sure the gemstones are protected. At Katannuta Diamonds we strive to strike the perfect balance between aesthetic appeal and practical design principles, and we’ll apply the same principles when we design your Toi et Moi ring – you can trust us not just in South Africa, but around the world.

What are the best gemstones to consider?

If you’re opting for a Toi et Moi design as an engagement ring, you want to select gemstones that are hard and durable enough to wear every day, without too much risk of damage. Diamonds are the hardest gemstone, rated 10/10 on Moh’s hardness scale, so they are always a great choice. Sapphires and rubies are the second hardest gemstones (9/10 hardness) and we are always happy to recommend these two gems as engagement ring gemstones. Whilst blue sapphires and white diamonds are always a classic combination, remember that sapphires come in an entire rainbow of colours, all of which look beautiful with white diamonds.

Peacock sapphire toi et moi ring

A recently completed Katannuta Diamonds creation, this Toi et Moi ring is set with a pear-cut diamond and an oval-cut peacock (teal) sapphire.

Emeralds, whilst beautiful and rated at a hardness of 8/10, are not exceptionally durable gemstones so we’d advise against setting an emerald in a Toi et Moi engagement ring (sorry Megan Fox). If your Toi et Moi ring is only going to be worn on special occasions, then emerald is a striking choice.

Tourmaline and garnet are both semi-precious gems that are fairly durable and available in a range of colours so are both great choices for dress rings, but not necessarily engagement rings. Other popular semi-precious gems that would work for occasional wear rings are tanzanite, morganite, amethyst, citrine and topaz.

What size and shape of gemstones will work best?

This is entirely up to you and to a certain extent will be determined by your finger size, length and your ring budget. Bigger gemstones will cost more than smaller gemstones, but smaller gemstones might look out of place on larger finger sizes. Often, Toi et Moi rings are made with the same shape gemstones (like Jackie Kennedy’s ring) to provide a beautifully symmetrical design. However, mixing different shapes, like a pear and an oval cut, or a radiant cut and a cushion-cut, can offer you a unique ring. Playing around with different size and shape combinations will allow you to find the pairing that works best for your taste, style and budget.

Round diamond toi et moi ring

A loyal client designed her own Toi et Moi ring, using diamonds from old rings in her collection. In this ring, both main gems are round diamonds, but the two-tone white and yellow gold adds a unique twist to the ring.

What Toi et Moi ring designs should you consider?

When it comes to the setting of the gemstones in your Toi et Moi ring, make sure that the two main gemstones are securely set and that weak points on the stone are protected. What do we mean by that? If you have a fancy shape stone like a marquise, princess or pear-cut gem, make sure each of the points is covered by a safe and secure claw (or is bezel set).

Marquise diamond ring

On a marquise diamond, the two points are the most fragile points of the stone, so we put double claws on these diamonds to make sure the gems are both protected and secure in the setting.

Many Toi et Moi ring designs also feature a split band, meaning that there is a gap between the two stones and the band is not a continuous circle. Whilst these designs are strikingly beautiful and are sure to get your friends talking, they’re the kind of design we would recommend you approach with caution. When a ring is not continuous and has a gap in it (like Kylie Jenner’s ring), there is a possibility that the ring may bend open (thus becoming too big for you) and possibly even snap in two. Hand-in-hand with a ring being bent open (or closed) is the chance of gemstones falling out as claws are bent out of place.

The last thing you want when you’re spending your hard-earned money on a piece of luxury jewellery is the ring bending, breaking, or for gemstones to get damaged or fall out. We’ll make sure that when you sit with us in South Africa to design your perfect Toi et Moi ring, you’ll receive a ring that will stand the test of time.

Ready to order your own Toi et Moi ring? Send us a message via our contact page and our diamond and gemstone expert Clare Appleyard will help you with the best advice the South African jewellery industry has to offer.